Why David Palmer is full off S**t

In 2011 the World Open Squash was held in Rotterdam. After the first few days of qualifying I was one of the players not making it into the main draw, losing to Davide Bianchetti. A few days later, as the squash nerd I am, I arranged a hit at the same club as the championship was being held with a friend who also participated but did not qualify.

Before starting a friendly game to relieve any frustration pressure from losing the match a few days before, I went to the toilet to relieve myself of a different kind of pressure.

Midst of my pressure session (squash pun intended), someone fiercely jabbed the handle of the toilet door, scaring me into cutting my project in half.

He said he needed to go really bad.

I said he could use the other toilet upstairs.

He said he was playing a really important match and he did not have time to run upstairs as he just finished his knock up and only had a 90 second poo break.

Now I can not perform under pressure like that, so I left my project half done.

Now how am I going to react to a situation like this. Start an argument with a heavy methane odour in the air. Complain about invasion of my privacy and cosytitme. Am I going to tell him off through the toilet door?

I opened the door and saw a familiar face, and before I could figure out who he was, he rushed past me. This giant of a squash player probably something in the lines of:"I really had to go, mate", I let it be, because seeing who it was, I am sure it really WAS an important match.

"Gotta go, really gotta go"

David Palmer just chased me out of a private toilet to take advantage of a warm seat and a lack of toilet paper. How he solved that problem, I dont know as I am pretty sure he played his match with both socks on.

Luckily theres a kind of happy end to this story of dirty socks and unfinished business.

Because of my gentleman like behaviour, I am sure 2 kgs or more left Mr.Palmer in those 90 seconds, giving him the perfect Weight-to-Strength ratio to scrape the few last points in an epic 5 game thriller against Thierry Lincou. This set him up to play in The Luxor theatre on the glasscourt in the quarterfinals against Karim Darwish.

David lost the quarterfinals. After the match he announced his retirement from professional squash. I was lucky enough to experience it from the front row A small tear left my eye after his speech, because I knew even though he did not thanked me in his speech, I knew I had something to do with bringing him onto the big stage for his grand finale. no shit

You're welcome Dave

The Squash Physio

For the last 2 years there has been less squash. With that aside, I have been forced to start my own company to support myself.


2 Years of hard work has resulted in a successful practice 30 min drive south of Amsterdam. It is now up and running on its own with full schedules and good reviews. In this time (being obsessed with rankings) I have attained the top ranking of physiotherapists in the region. Going for no1 in Holland, naturally.

My company's vision is a top sport mentality combining physiotherapy and personal training, to not only treat the injury, but keeping the entire body fit and in balance during recovery. There is a lot of training during the rehabilitation with me, and a lot of focus is required to attain the best out of my patients. nothing less is required.

This has proven to be a very successful recipe, bringing in mostly active athletes or everyday people with a love for fitness. I see top level bodybuilders, Fitness athletes, dancers Volleyball, Soccer, Hockey, Ice skating and Squash athletes to mention a few.

I am located inside a Fitness centre that provides me with all the space, tools and equipment I need for all types of recovery and training. Right next to me is a Chiropractor who aids me with treating complex cases and always is willing to provide with a second opinion.

Check out our websites

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Let me explain myself

I just reviewed one of my matches from Tromsø PSA closed sattelite a few months back. I showed up still being sick as a social trip and a nice break. I was on court for all my matches to hit some balls, which is nice, but I cant strain my body. Listening to the live commentary, I realized that maybe people don't fully understand what I am going through. I especially worry about the Norwegian Squash Federation who have supported me fully as I was an active professional, but lately have stepped back.

It is called Mononuchleosis, "Mono" for short. Popularly known as kissing disease. It affects the Liver, Spleen, Immune system, and can produce severe nausea, tiredness in a periode between 2 weeks to 12 months. The older you are when you get it, the worse it is. Most people get it when they are young. You normally experience the first period as a bad flu for a week or two along with an enlarged spleen, and after that the immune system needs a complete turnover, and you need complete rest to recover.

After a tough end 2013/start 2014, I took 2 months complete break from squash after returning from my Australian tour. I struggled with motivation during the Australian tour, but still pushed the 3d seed to 5 games, lost to WR49 in another tournament, and won the graded tournament in the last tournament, beating world junior ranked 9 in the world in the quarters, national team Australian junior in semis and a Canadian in the final.

To motivate myself and have something to train towards I signed up for the PSA closed sattelites in Norway in Moss, Stavanger, Kristiansand and Tromsø. 2 months of matchplay prepared me to win both, and I enjoyed playing. A lot of work in Amsterdam prevented me from training as much as I wanted, but I joined the national team training in November. I have not been pushed that hard for a long time, and I clearly had to work harder than the rest of the players. I did not think I could do it, but I made it through the weekend.

Upon my return I felt a bit reduced, but thats normal after a hard weekend. In that week I felt like a small flu coming, but it didnt really hit me. I had to play the third PSA in Kristiansand soonly after the national squad. My first 2 matches went fine although I did not feel great. In the semi finals I had to push, and I made it barely through. when warming up for the final, I felt it. Hot flushes and a flu like feeling. I tried pushing through it in the final but the body didnt respond.

Over the christmas period I tried taking breaks and start training slowly, but every time I felt ill, had to rest 1 week, then try again. It continued like this until February. Then I had a hard session with 2 PSA players Tuesday morning. Tuesday evening I was yellow in my face (liver) and got knocked out with the flu. 1 week out. Stupid me started training again. Same Tuesday session with the boys. Same result. 1 week flu. My girlfriend had struggled with illness and tiredness since before christmas as well, and went to the doctor several times. Mono was already suspected. Her tests came back inconclusive.

When I could not recover, I went to the doctor to get it diagnosed, and it was pretty clear. My spleen was in a very bad state. For months I got sick only walking the stairs (no joke) and any rising of the pulse got me straight away. This took months before I felt slightly better. months doing absolutely nothing. only sleep 12 hours a day and work. sometimes sleeping inbetween patient visits. Its the worst thing if I have to cancel my patient appointments.

I already booked the Tromsø trip a long time back, before I knew I had Mono. I assumed I would recover and be ready in time, to at least participate. I had to cancel the European Chammpionships, and assumed I would not go to Tromsø. But I talked to the tournament organizors, and they still wanted me to come up. I agreed to come and join the draw, but made it clear I could not move. Maybe they thought I was exaggarating. in this period I started feeling a it better, so I wanted to see if I could start training again slowly. My body was aching to hit some balls again.

Because of the liver working overtime during mono, you should not drink alcohol at all. Im a clever and stubborn man who ignored this for that weekend, and enjoyed myself until early morning. The paradox is that I felt great the next day and the coming week. I hoped I was rid of it now, so I started training again, 50% offcourse, but still every 2 days for about 1 hour. The following 2 weekends there was some pretty heavy partying as well. In the end...it was too much. My body shut down again and for 2 weeks I was in bed. The spleen swelled up again and back to 12 hrs sleep and no energy. So I am now back to doing NOTHING. 1 month has passed, and I am now feeling somewhat normal again, but will not start moving the corpse until September, earliest. They say you will be rid it for sure after 1  year, so November 2015, I will hopefully be able to move on a squashcourt again.

As a squashplayer, I believe I have fully found myself. After years of experience, trying and failing and funneling down mental, physical and tactical strategies, I have now found the player I am. The best possible player I can be. All I need is the fitness and match training. I have a good physical foundation, so hopefully it wont take me too long to return. Already I have lost 5 kgs muscle and gained 2% bodyfat. I am foamrolling and stretching like crazy to make sure the muscles dont seize up and I will return just to injur again straight away. The national championships in January will be a longshot, but hopefully I will be ready for the European championships next year.

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Framboise Gommendy on the alien that is Ramy Ashour

After watching one of the most intense, inspiring matches yesterday, with who I believe to be the greatest squashplayer of all time, Ramy Ashour, I feel like I need to share squash with as many people as possible. People need to know of this sport, and of this player.

What we have witnessed over the last year is nothing less than superhuman. For someone to be injured and recovering 9 months of the year to play 2 of the biggest tournaments of the world, chop the world elite, and win it, with barely breaking a sweat (yes I know the finals were brutal 5 setters, but watch how Ramy moves in the first 2 rallies of the match versus the last 2 rallies of the match. no difference)

I do not know how I can describe what I just saw. So I will leave that to someone who can.

Here is the legend that is Fram. On the legend that is Ramy. The last 6 points.

Watch. Match. SquashTV!!!

picture is property of squashsite.co.uk

Read the full raport from Fram and pictures from Steve Cubbins

here: http://www.squashsite.co.uk/elgouna/today.htm

kissing is bad for you

 It has been diagnosed and confirmed. I just saw the doctor today, who received the result. I have acquired the Eppstein-Barr Virus since November 2014, and my body has been telling me for a long time to calm down, without me listening.

 I have ignored the warnings and deteriorated month by month until it really knocked me on my ass in March.

It got topped off by another virus called cytomegalievirus. This one also result in fatigue and tiredness.

 For the first time in since as long as I remember, I have been completely inactive. This is the 3d week, where I hav done absolutely NOTHING. Not nothing, like before Lotte Eriksen, with a light jog, light hit and a stretching session. really NOTHING. Eating and sleeping. And it is a weird feeling, I tell ya.
I told myself to wait at least 1 more week, before I try to do anything at all.

 With kissing disease, it can take between 2 weeks to 1 year before you are well again. I always thought I was superman, so I think I will rid this kryptonite in no time. The sooner you realize you have it, the quicker you will recover. I suspected this already 6 weeks ago, so I started taking it easy.

I really want to play squash now. Watching Ramy back on court (with sunglasses on ) motivates me. The dude on the right is not Ramy btw,....

Sick sicksicksicksicksicksicksicksick

Welcome to Kims complaining forum. Here you will get sogging, bitching and complaining on a new level. enjoy.

In November 2014 we had a national team training in Stavanger Norway. I was pushed harder and longer than I had been in a long time, which is normally a good thing. Based on a poor training foundation, I was surprised I was able to push through it all. I was proud of myself and saw a glimmer of hope to get back to mold form after a poor previous year of squash and training.


Upon my return to my base in Amsterdam I could not really get back into training again. Everytime I trained I got noxious, started cold sweating and felt weak and reduced. I could function in daiily life, but when I trained I felt unwell. The harder the session was, the worse I felt. The remaining tournaments and trainings did not end well. I decided to take some time off, which was well timed since christmas was around the corner. I rested for 2 full weeks, but even after 10 days rest, training did not feel good. When I returned to Amsterdam after christmas is Norway, for the first time I got knocked on my ass with a bad cold. A simple cold never knocked me on my ass before. But I still thought it was only a cold. so after a few days recovery, I brushed myself off and started training again.

My body was probably sending me warnings, but I did not read the signals. I had more important things on my mind. My nationals were coming up in a few weeks. I used 1 week to train myself up slowly and tried a few hard sessions in the week before the championships. That did not go well either and on the Friday of the championships I was sick again.

I believe that the only reason I got as far as I did was the respect the players had for me. They thought I was better then what I was. I especially think of Trym who I played in the quarter finals. He is the most talented young player in the country and a player I struggle to play. After winning a tight 11-9 first game, I think he lost his head. No joke, he could easily win that match. I was fucked.

They wondered why I sold myself so low before the tournament. I said if I could play well and/or stay healthy I would be happy. They might think its modesty. It honestly wasnt

After the nationals I took some time off again, and this time it seemed to have a better effect. I remember one week in the middle of February where I felt good. I felt like my old self. I could move around the court without getting tired. I was finally rid all the shit.

After this week I had a needling course, where as a physio I learn the dry needling technique. 10 hr days, 3 days in a row 50+ needles all over my body and having to play league in the middle of this (you are not supposed to train within 24 hrs after 1 needling session. I did 18) After the needling course I struggled with swollen and painful lymphnodes and I was sick again the week after.

Still not learning from my mistakes I started training hard again as soon as possible. Last tuesday after playing a frequent training buddy who I always have hard matches with, I went to work. Starting cold sweating again, feeling light headed and needed to throw up. My colleagues told me I was green in my face and my patients told me to go home. For the first time since ever I had to cancel work because I was sick. Not just tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday too. Do you think I learned? noooo. It came to my attention I had to play league again Friday. So I show up, play and leave as soon as possible. I also promised my room mate to play saturday morning. even though I didnt feel well Friday, I expect it to pass again soon. When I played Saturday I didnt feel too bad. Surely my bad luck must have passed.

Tuesday I had another session with a few PSA players. The same thing as last week happened...only worse. I honestly struggled to walk, and getting home via bus, train, metro and bike was the worst thing Ive had to do in a while. Not only sick in my stomach, but lets add the flu on top of this.

Ive spent the last 2 days and nights in bed only eating a banana and 4 grapes. I am one of those guys who says "I am never sick"

Well, lets hope I learn this time.

Urbano and team Alphen: I am sorry but I need to cancel league Friday

Stian og Sarpsborg Squash klubb: Beklager så masse. Jeg hadde gledet meg masse til helgen, men som dere ser, så blir det veldig vanskelig å spille topp squash med min nåværende tilstand. Jeg må nok kansellere. Håper det ikke er til for masse bry, og jeg skal nok gjøre opp for meg å komme innom snart

Mark Hornby: I am going to take some weeks of inactivity now, to make sure I can start training towards the european championship. I don't know if I have an underlying condition or just poor immune system at the moment, but I will check it out. it might be an idea to have a 6th player ready to take my place in case I can not go.