New life

 After the unfortunate end of a rollercoaster squash "career", I had to change focus. First of all gain my health back, but living aint free so I had to make some money too. Through a sponsor I got offered work in his gym as a physiotherapist. I started up Complete Fysiofitness in 2013 around the time I had to quit squash, and after 2 years it was ranked the no1 physiotherapist practice in the city I worked in. 

After several years I broke partnership with the partners at the time and from 2020 I started up completely alone in the same city (Alphen aan den Rijn in the Netherlands) but in a different gym (Bezemer Fitness)

I  do Personal Training, Physiotherapy and performance training with squash athletes. Its still good to keep in the loop within the squash community.

To have a look at what I do check out the website: 

www.completefysiofitness.com

and the gym

Bezemer Fitness

CFF is also to be found on all social media platforms. I will try to be a good boy and update it all :)

National squad training February 2017

Now in effective training for 2 months, I was invited to the national team training in February in Oslo Norway. For the seniors this meant selection training for the European championships. For me it was basically do or die, as 3/5 players are already selected due to good performances earlier in the season. The new coaches from England (Lauren Selby and Emily Ison) have never seen me play before, and although my past performances should be a powerful statement we all have to remember I have been away for 2 years.

The post exercise malaise have been a lot better and I have not felt it in a while. Unfortunatelly the fatigue messed with me for 10 days leading up to the team training, but I still went, hoping for the best.

The first day was directed towards on court work, drills and technique. As we all know, I am no technician, and I am horrible in drills, but it went over all expectation and I slowly found my groove and realized I was not as far behind my old level as I thought. I stayed on the top court and won all conditioning games except one. I had a good chat with the coaches, so they were aware of my situation, and therefore allowed me to set my own pace. I stopped 5 min before the session ended on day one just to be sure I stayed within my limits.

The second day was dedicated to strength and conditioning with a little squash work in the beginning of the day. My good form continued and it went even better then the day before. Continuing my winning streak, now more gameplay, which suits me a lot better. The strength and gym work is naturally my backyard, so that was never a problem, but I did not push myself during the courtsprints. This is where I noticed I was away for 2 years. I still move efficiently enough to complete and win matches but in an all out conditioning test, I come short. However, this is the easiest one to train.

So lets get started

UPDATE! Just got news that I MADE THE TEAM!!!!!

Top 40 squashblogger on the planet

Yes it is a real thing, and here is proof that you are reading quality!!!

What is extra cool is that I am the only player blog on the list, so since I do not brag about finishing 36th in a tournament, I rather brag that I finished no 1 as a players blog. boom!

For the full list, see here:
 http://blog.feedspot.com/squash_blogs/?utm_content=bufferb37d9&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Painfully embarrassing personal encounters in the world of squash part 1

What you are about to witness are based on true stories

- The first time I played Aisling Blake, I grabbed her tit (I was reaching for the ball)

- The first time I trained with Geoff Hunt, I wanted to be nice to the old man and hit mostly floaters and high 3 wall boasts. After the session he said, you re playing well but your boasts are shit. Then we played another game and he knocked my front tooth out

- First time going out with Borja Golan he decides to jump out of the taxi on the highway and do the worm 3 times in between cars

- First time I met Peter Nicol, he was passed out drunk on a bean bag

- First time I met David Palmer (As previously mentioned) He was chasing me out of a toilet with my pants on my ankles

- First time going to the sauna with Wee Wern Low. It was a naked sauna. I didnt know. I was the only one in there with shorts on #awkwardcity

- First time I met Piedro Schweertman he had hair

- First time I met Peter Creed he was short

- First time I played Line Hansen I accidentally "swaffled" her (Have a dutchie translate)

- First time playing Sebastiaan Weenink he farted in the back left corner and played all balls in that corner for 2 rallies

- First time I met Shawn Delierre he tried to steal my girl

- First time I met Gilly Lane, he stole my girl

- First time meeting the Pilley brothers ended up in a 4am Shoarma party

- First time meeting Liz Irving I spent awkwardly long asking why she didnt have a husband

- First time meeting Nicol David we had a good hit and a nice chat

- First time I went out with Arthur Gaskin we chased the rainbow and found a pot o gold (A bar at the end of the road) (Where he btw sang "A whole lotta love" better than Led Zep themselves... or maybe thats the pot o gold speaking)

- First time I met Paul Coll I didnt undestand a single word he said. Probably because he just flew in from Krypton and didnt learn human language yet

- First debut for the national team I get both front teeth knocked out and a cut lip making me look like Bubba from Forrest Gump. Im toothless all week and the only person I meet by accident at the airport before getting them fixed is my 3 year high school crush.....

- My first international tournament I ended up taking a dump in the Czech Republic (s teams appartments mailbox)

- The first time I met Ramy Ashour he was wrestling his brother naked

- The first time I played Simon Rosner I took 1 point

- The first time I met Nicholas Muller I bought him a chocolate bar

- The first time I partied with Gregory Gaultier he stole my drink. Then he stole my girl. Then he stole my second drink. Then he stole my second girl (remember these are still true stories!!!!)

- The first time I met LJ was in a bar. The second time I met LJ was in a bar. The third time I met LJ was in a bar. Fourth time we met we had a hit. Then we went to the bar

- First time playing Peter Barker my best friend was watching (thinking I was the best player there was) After a severe loss, my friend bought all the drinks and meals that night feeling sorry for me losing to a club player. 6 months later he saw posters of Pete all around London and all of a sudden wanted those 7 beers back.

- First time I got refereed by John Massarella I did not find him through the match but I heard his voice

- First time I met Stewart Boswell he promised me dinner. He never made it.

- Last time I saw Adrian Grant he was standing in a suit watching 4 of us skinny dip in the mediterranean.....

- The first time I met Joe Lee I denied him access to his own hotel room

- First time I met Kashif Shuja I stole his girl

Put the middle finger up

Any athlete knows that the greatest fuel to the fire is someone telling you that you cant do it.

You get a cocktail of anger/stubborness/grit/Immashutyouuphater kinda sensation through your bones

"No one recovers from ME" "Its a chronic condition" "You will have to live with it" "You will never play squash on any level again"

- Well fuk you, then I will do the opposite of what you tell me

After 2 years of research I have found the cure. Although there are many subcategories of ME, I found what works for me. Its a long process and it requires a dicipline of that of a top athlete. I need to remove all factors of stress in life. That is not easy post 2000s

But now, 2 years after and going from not being able to walk stairs, to playing my first tournament today, I am making great steps forward and looking very positively to the future.

It is not a PSA tournament or anything of that level. It is the club championship at my local club that I won 3 years ago. At the moment I am at a level where I can play 2 times a week with B players, so it should be a perfect step to see what my body can manage. I will have to play 4 matches in a day which is quite extreme for my body even though all the matches will not be hard. I just have to listen to my body and retire if needed. Hopefully it all goes well.

I also signed up for the national championships in Norway in January. No expectations offcourse, but mostly just to play again and to see all my friends again. Its sad how you lose contact with so many people when you dont play anymore.

If things go well I have a distant goal to make the team  for the european champoinships around march/april carried on a cloud of hope, grit, determination, muscle memory and middle fingers

What experience and time away from my sport has taught me

I can give you a different story every time you ask me, what is experience.

Naturally, as a squash player, I now refer to experience in sports.

And now, even though I was a late bloomer (starting squash at 16) I still have some years under my belt, and I filled those 10 years with a lot of squash and sqiuash travels. I am not the young buck anymore. I am no longer the underdog. I am no longers the talent (never was actually). I am no longer the junior. I now have juniors chasing me, which is a weird feeling. Luckily none of them beat me yet ;) hehe

The last year, being forced to take time away from practicing the sport I love, I have been working a lot mentally, with breaking everything down. I take inspiration from the greats such as Matthew, Ashour and Willstrop amongst others who have been longer periods away from the sport injured, but has come back greater, stronger and better than before. What does that mean? What did they do while they were gone?

I do not know for sure, I can only guess. But this is my experience.

- Time away will give you fresh motivation
- It makes you look at your sport from a different angle. You will look at the bigger picture. You will look up, instead of down on your small goal you are working on at the moment.
- Its easier to realize why you started the sport in the first place.

I think its good for any athlete to take a prolonged "holiday" like this, but no one will, in this 10 000 hr rule society, where only the ones that work the hardest, sweat the most and bleed the game will succeed. Still, time and time again, I see athletes coming back stronger after injury and time off. The problem is that I think it kind of HAVE to be forced. If not you will not come out of the "zone" that traps you inside the game.

Now, the point was....

Experience if you would ask me today, would be the realization on how to maximize potential in a time where I did not. I spent the better of 5 years hacking away at my weaknesses. The first 5 years, I enjoyed the game and I tried to play as much as possible to catch up with the rest of squash Norway where they played years longer than me. The latter part of my career I tried to fix a broken technique, with less success. I tried to move more efficiently around the court, by moving slower, since I tend to over rush my movement and therefore overrun the ball.

None of this worked out. I understood I needed to take a step back to take 2 steps forward, but it was too difficult. I realized now that if I rather would hav buildt up under my strength, I would have reached longer than I did in my professional career. I am a physical player. I am strong, fast and have a nice deaf touch on the ball, well used for drops and lobs. For a long time, I would rather spend my time, trying to hit the ball harder and harder on the backhand side, especially the volley. I tried to match the top boys  in training by moving slower. No need to mention. That failed.

What got me my norwegian titles was my strengths, not my weaknesses. What produced my best performances in the European Championships was my fitness and focus. Everytime I was obsessed with minor details of what I could not do... I failed.

With mentally fighting to push a 300kg Rock uphill, it took its toll and it burned me out. motivation = gone, fun=gone ...blah*

It only took me 13 years to realize that I could rather roll that stone around the hill. Rather use my strengths instead of my weknesses. Just the mere realization of this made me happier and more relaxed.

On top of this, there are tactics and gameplans I have been working on with my coach that has simmered and slow cooked like a nice beef stroganoff in my head. I feel I have a better understanding of it all and the game as a whole. I am now just looking to get healthy again so I can put it all to life. The big question is if my body and personal life will allow it. That was what pulled me out of squash to begin with. You never know what curveballs life will throw at you.

BUT

I had my first hit in a long time at Squashcity (Where Nicol sneaked a few inches off the tin since last time) where I did not feel sick after. I did not have any setbacks these few weeks, so it is looking up :)

Take away message: Its not all about focusing on your weaknesses and lesser sides of yourself. It is important to be aware of them. But treat yourself to look at your positives ones in a while. See why you are great. What makes you better than the rest. What got you where you are. Draw the confidence from it, highlight it and enjoy it :)

Happiness?

The worst thing about this whole EBV/CFS/ME/PVF/PEM abbreviation hell I've been going through the last 18 months is not the physical aspect.

You would imagine an athlete in one of the most challenging sports in the world, whos strength is being able to play 3 matches per day and be fit enough to win the final on Sunday, would feel horrified by struggling to walk stairs. And yes, it sucks to be sick for 2 months only after walking 3 flights of stairs. But, ok. Thats reality. The new reality. Adapt.

It took 8 months before my metabolism dropped. By then I had lost 5 kgs of muscle. After this, the burger belly started showing. So did the 5 kgs I lost, only this time it was fat. The infamous "Daddy belt" which I swore I would never see.

Around this time (not because I was getting fat) I faced my greatest challenge....... my head. It was not because I missed playing, being out of the game and just wanting to do something I couldn't. I missed out on several national and international championships, and that did not feel good, but I physically couldn't, so I accepted it.

I think the problem was that I have been used to sporting all day every day sice I was 4 years old. I had a maximum of 6 months break when I was younger due to overtraining once and groin injury the second time. I had always had a constant rush of endorphine and dopamine from training. I was never the stressed one, never the worried one, never anxious. ever!

Then your body goes cold turkey. No more activity. whatsoever. Just lie as still as you can, for however long it takes. Maybe 3 weeks, maybe 3 months, maybe 3 years. No one knows. Looking on Youtube and medical websites you see there is no cure, it is chronic and its the death of any sports career. My cortisol started running crazy, my HPA-axis crashed. Welcome stress, anxiety, depression and big loads of feeling sorry for myself. Super sensitive to any opposition, snapping and overreacting to the smallest things, aggression, insomnia, all that fun stuff. And in the middle of it I know that these feelings have no foundation. I have nothing to REALLY worry about. I can walk, work, function. I have family friends, food and a roof. Nothing to really feel down about. So I feel sorry for myself for feeling sorry for myself.

So after a year of trying to desperately return to activity, I gave myself a few good months of doing nothing. I have in this period suffered from severe spleen pain, but this subsided last week. I noticed the stress hormones calmed down as well. I took this as a good sign and went on court for the first time in ages and hit a few balls. It could not have been more than 20 minutes, and not a foot was lifted off the ground. Only my arms flailing randomly with a racket which normally describes my technique quite accurately.

It was like a shot of drugs. A perfect dosage of ecstacy that went straight to the brain and unblocked that clot blocking my flow. I felt actually happy. A strange sensation I had not felt in over a year.. I am an addict. Squash is too big of a part of my life. If 20 min of whacking a rubber ball gives me a fix for the week, how big of a junkie was I before. I have addiction in my genetics, and some family members get their fix elsewhere. But this is my drug. Fuck you Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I will return. In one form or another

Why David Palmer is full off S**t

In 2011 the World Open Squash was held in Rotterdam. After the first few days of qualifying I was one of the players not making it into the main draw, losing to Davide Bianchetti. A few days later, as the squash nerd I am, I arranged a hit at the same club as the championship was being held with a friend who also participated but did not qualify.

Before starting a friendly game to relieve any frustration pressure from losing the match a few days before, I went to the toilet to relieve myself of a different kind of pressure.

Midst of my pressure session (squash pun intended), someone fiercely jabbed the handle of the toilet door, scaring me into cutting my project in half.

He said he needed to go really bad.

I said he could use the other toilet upstairs.

He said he was playing a really important match and he did not have time to run upstairs as he just finished his knock up and only had a 90 second poo break.

Now I can not perform under pressure like that, so I left my project half done.

Now how am I going to react to a situation like this. Start an argument with a heavy methane odour in the air. Complain about invasion of my privacy and cosytitme. Am I going to tell him off through the toilet door?

I opened the door and saw a familiar face, and before I could figure out who he was, he rushed past me. This giant of a squash player probably something in the lines of:"I really had to go, mate", I let it be, because seeing who it was, I am sure it really WAS an important match.

"Gotta go, really gotta go"

David Palmer just chased me out of a private toilet to take advantage of a warm seat and a lack of toilet paper. How he solved that problem, I dont know as I am pretty sure he played his match with both socks on.

Luckily theres a kind of happy end to this story of dirty socks and unfinished business.

Because of my gentleman like behaviour, I am sure 2 kgs or more left Mr.Palmer in those 90 seconds, giving him the perfect Weight-to-Strength ratio to scrape the few last points in an epic 5 game thriller against Thierry Lincou. This set him up to play in The Luxor theatre on the glasscourt in the quarterfinals against Karim Darwish.

David lost the quarterfinals. After the match he announced his retirement from professional squash. I was lucky enough to experience it from the front row A small tear left my eye after his speech, because I knew even though he did not thanked me in his speech, I knew I had something to do with bringing him onto the big stage for his grand finale. no shit

You're welcome Dave

The Squash Physio

For the last 2 years there has been less squash. With that aside, I have been forced to start my own company to support myself.


2 Years of hard work has resulted in a successful practice 30 min drive south of Amsterdam. It is now up and running on its own with full schedules and good reviews. In this time (being obsessed with rankings) I have attained the top ranking of physiotherapists in the region. Going for no1 in Holland, naturally.

My company's vision is a top sport mentality combining physiotherapy and personal training, to not only treat the injury, but keeping the entire body fit and in balance during recovery. There is a lot of training during the rehabilitation with me, and a lot of focus is required to attain the best out of my patients. nothing less is required.

This has proven to be a very successful recipe, bringing in mostly active athletes or everyday people with a love for fitness. I see top level bodybuilders, Fitness athletes, dancers Volleyball, Soccer, Hockey, Ice skating and Squash athletes to mention a few.

I am located inside a Fitness centre that provides me with all the space, tools and equipment I need for all types of recovery and training. Right next to me is a Chiropractor who aids me with treating complex cases and always is willing to provide with a second opinion.

Check out our websites

www.fysio365.net

www.completefysiofitness.com

www.embodyhealth.nl

Let me explain myself

I just reviewed one of my matches from Tromsø PSA closed sattelite a few months back. I showed up still being sick as a social trip and a nice break. I was on court for all my matches to hit some balls, which is nice, but I cant strain my body. Listening to the live commentary, I realized that maybe people don't fully understand what I am going through. I especially worry about the Norwegian Squash Federation who have supported me fully as I was an active professional, but lately have stepped back.

It is called Mononuchleosis, "Mono" for short. Popularly known as kissing disease. It affects the Liver, Spleen, Immune system, and can produce severe nausea, tiredness in a periode between 2 weeks to 12 months. The older you are when you get it, the worse it is. Most people get it when they are young. You normally experience the first period as a bad flu for a week or two along with an enlarged spleen, and after that the immune system needs a complete turnover, and you need complete rest to recover.

After a tough end 2013/start 2014, I took 2 months complete break from squash after returning from my Australian tour. I struggled with motivation during the Australian tour, but still pushed the 3d seed to 5 games, lost to WR49 in another tournament, and won the graded tournament in the last tournament, beating world junior ranked 9 in the world in the quarters, national team Australian junior in semis and a Canadian in the final.

To motivate myself and have something to train towards I signed up for the PSA closed sattelites in Norway in Moss, Stavanger, Kristiansand and Tromsø. 2 months of matchplay prepared me to win both, and I enjoyed playing. A lot of work in Amsterdam prevented me from training as much as I wanted, but I joined the national team training in November. I have not been pushed that hard for a long time, and I clearly had to work harder than the rest of the players. I did not think I could do it, but I made it through the weekend.

Upon my return I felt a bit reduced, but thats normal after a hard weekend. In that week I felt like a small flu coming, but it didnt really hit me. I had to play the third PSA in Kristiansand soonly after the national squad. My first 2 matches went fine although I did not feel great. In the semi finals I had to push, and I made it barely through. when warming up for the final, I felt it. Hot flushes and a flu like feeling. I tried pushing through it in the final but the body didnt respond.

Over the christmas period I tried taking breaks and start training slowly, but every time I felt ill, had to rest 1 week, then try again. It continued like this until February. Then I had a hard session with 2 PSA players Tuesday morning. Tuesday evening I was yellow in my face (liver) and got knocked out with the flu. 1 week out. Stupid me started training again. Same Tuesday session with the boys. Same result. 1 week flu. My girlfriend had struggled with illness and tiredness since before christmas as well, and went to the doctor several times. Mono was already suspected. Her tests came back inconclusive.

When I could not recover, I went to the doctor to get it diagnosed, and it was pretty clear. My spleen was in a very bad state. For months I got sick only walking the stairs (no joke) and any rising of the pulse got me straight away. This took months before I felt slightly better. months doing absolutely nothing. only sleep 12 hours a day and work. sometimes sleeping inbetween patient visits. Its the worst thing if I have to cancel my patient appointments.

I already booked the Tromsø trip a long time back, before I knew I had Mono. I assumed I would recover and be ready in time, to at least participate. I had to cancel the European Chammpionships, and assumed I would not go to Tromsø. But I talked to the tournament organizors, and they still wanted me to come up. I agreed to come and join the draw, but made it clear I could not move. Maybe they thought I was exaggarating. in this period I started feeling a it better, so I wanted to see if I could start training again slowly. My body was aching to hit some balls again.

Because of the liver working overtime during mono, you should not drink alcohol at all. Im a clever and stubborn man who ignored this for that weekend, and enjoyed myself until early morning. The paradox is that I felt great the next day and the coming week. I hoped I was rid of it now, so I started training again, 50% offcourse, but still every 2 days for about 1 hour. The following 2 weekends there was some pretty heavy partying as well. In the end...it was too much. My body shut down again and for 2 weeks I was in bed. The spleen swelled up again and back to 12 hrs sleep and no energy. So I am now back to doing NOTHING. 1 month has passed, and I am now feeling somewhat normal again, but will not start moving the corpse until September, earliest. They say you will be rid it for sure after 1  year, so November 2015, I will hopefully be able to move on a squashcourt again.

As a squashplayer, I believe I have fully found myself. After years of experience, trying and failing and funneling down mental, physical and tactical strategies, I have now found the player I am. The best possible player I can be. All I need is the fitness and match training. I have a good physical foundation, so hopefully it wont take me too long to return. Already I have lost 5 kgs muscle and gained 2% bodyfat. I am foamrolling and stretching like crazy to make sure the muscles dont seize up and I will return just to injur again straight away. The national championships in January will be a longshot, but hopefully I will be ready for the European championships next year.

KILLERMATCH

Check out my friends squash-app to monitor your squash stats compared to other players and friends

http://www.killermatch.com/

Available for iOS, Android and Web

Framboise Gommendy on the alien that is Ramy Ashour

After watching one of the most intense, inspiring matches yesterday, with who I believe to be the greatest squashplayer of all time, Ramy Ashour, I feel like I need to share squash with as many people as possible. People need to know of this sport, and of this player.

What we have witnessed over the last year is nothing less than superhuman. For someone to be injured and recovering 9 months of the year to play 2 of the biggest tournaments of the world, chop the world elite, and win it, with barely breaking a sweat (yes I know the finals were brutal 5 setters, but watch how Ramy moves in the first 2 rallies of the match versus the last 2 rallies of the match. no difference)

I do not know how I can describe what I just saw. So I will leave that to someone who can.

Here is the legend that is Fram. On the legend that is Ramy. The last 6 points.

Watch. Match. SquashTV!!!

picture is property of squashsite.co.uk

Read the full raport from Fram and pictures from Steve Cubbins

here: http://www.squashsite.co.uk/elgouna/today.htm

kissing is bad for you

 It has been diagnosed and confirmed. I just saw the doctor today, who received the result. I have acquired the Eppstein-Barr Virus since November 2014, and my body has been telling me for a long time to calm down, without me listening.

 I have ignored the warnings and deteriorated month by month until it really knocked me on my ass in March.

It got topped off by another virus called cytomegalievirus. This one also result in fatigue and tiredness.

 For the first time in since as long as I remember, I have been completely inactive. This is the 3d week, where I hav done absolutely NOTHING. Not nothing, like before Lotte Eriksen, with a light jog, light hit and a stretching session. really NOTHING. Eating and sleeping. And it is a weird feeling, I tell ya.
I told myself to wait at least 1 more week, before I try to do anything at all.

 With kissing disease, it can take between 2 weeks to 1 year before you are well again. I always thought I was superman, so I think I will rid this kryptonite in no time. The sooner you realize you have it, the quicker you will recover. I suspected this already 6 weeks ago, so I started taking it easy.

I really want to play squash now. Watching Ramy back on court (with sunglasses on ) motivates me. The dude on the right is not Ramy btw,....

Sick sicksicksicksicksicksicksicksick

Welcome to Kims complaining forum. Here you will get sogging, bitching and complaining on a new level. enjoy.

In November 2014 we had a national team training in Stavanger Norway. I was pushed harder and longer than I had been in a long time, which is normally a good thing. Based on a poor training foundation, I was surprised I was able to push through it all. I was proud of myself and saw a glimmer of hope to get back to mold form after a poor previous year of squash and training.


Upon my return to my base in Amsterdam I could not really get back into training again. Everytime I trained I got noxious, started cold sweating and felt weak and reduced. I could function in daiily life, but when I trained I felt unwell. The harder the session was, the worse I felt. The remaining tournaments and trainings did not end well. I decided to take some time off, which was well timed since christmas was around the corner. I rested for 2 full weeks, but even after 10 days rest, training did not feel good. When I returned to Amsterdam after christmas is Norway, for the first time I got knocked on my ass with a bad cold. A simple cold never knocked me on my ass before. But I still thought it was only a cold. so after a few days recovery, I brushed myself off and started training again.

My body was probably sending me warnings, but I did not read the signals. I had more important things on my mind. My nationals were coming up in a few weeks. I used 1 week to train myself up slowly and tried a few hard sessions in the week before the championships. That did not go well either and on the Friday of the championships I was sick again.

I believe that the only reason I got as far as I did was the respect the players had for me. They thought I was better then what I was. I especially think of Trym who I played in the quarter finals. He is the most talented young player in the country and a player I struggle to play. After winning a tight 11-9 first game, I think he lost his head. No joke, he could easily win that match. I was fucked.

They wondered why I sold myself so low before the tournament. I said if I could play well and/or stay healthy I would be happy. They might think its modesty. It honestly wasnt

After the nationals I took some time off again, and this time it seemed to have a better effect. I remember one week in the middle of February where I felt good. I felt like my old self. I could move around the court without getting tired. I was finally rid all the shit.

After this week I had a needling course, where as a physio I learn the dry needling technique. 10 hr days, 3 days in a row 50+ needles all over my body and having to play league in the middle of this (you are not supposed to train within 24 hrs after 1 needling session. I did 18) After the needling course I struggled with swollen and painful lymphnodes and I was sick again the week after.

Still not learning from my mistakes I started training hard again as soon as possible. Last tuesday after playing a frequent training buddy who I always have hard matches with, I went to work. Starting cold sweating again, feeling light headed and needed to throw up. My colleagues told me I was green in my face and my patients told me to go home. For the first time since ever I had to cancel work because I was sick. Not just tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday too. Do you think I learned? noooo. It came to my attention I had to play league again Friday. So I show up, play and leave as soon as possible. I also promised my room mate to play saturday morning. even though I didnt feel well Friday, I expect it to pass again soon. When I played Saturday I didnt feel too bad. Surely my bad luck must have passed.

Tuesday I had another session with a few PSA players. The same thing as last week happened...only worse. I honestly struggled to walk, and getting home via bus, train, metro and bike was the worst thing Ive had to do in a while. Not only sick in my stomach, but lets add the flu on top of this.

Ive spent the last 2 days and nights in bed only eating a banana and 4 grapes. I am one of those guys who says "I am never sick"

Well, lets hope I learn this time.

Urbano and team Alphen: I am sorry but I need to cancel league Friday

Stian og Sarpsborg Squash klubb: Beklager så masse. Jeg hadde gledet meg masse til helgen, men som dere ser, så blir det veldig vanskelig å spille topp squash med min nåværende tilstand. Jeg må nok kansellere. Håper det ikke er til for masse bry, og jeg skal nok gjøre opp for meg å komme innom snart

Mark Hornby: I am going to take some weeks of inactivity now, to make sure I can start training towards the european championship. I don't know if I have an underlying condition or just poor immune system at the moment, but I will check it out. it might be an idea to have a 6th player ready to take my place in case I can not go.

back to training

National Championships 2015

#squash4food is back

meaning I cant afford to go to play the nationals. But I still went. Problem is its gonna be bloody difficult to win it this year. Even if I was fit, 7 of the 9 best players are on my side of the draw.

I need to win to cover my expenses. Right now Im tapped out on my savings. You dont want to know where this money comes from, but no, I did not prostitute myself. And I have to work hard to pay it back.

In December last year I got hit with the seasonal bug. badly. It seems to get more and more people every year. It also seem to hit harder every year. I could not train for 2 weeks before the holidays. After 2 weeks at home in Trondheim, Norway with some good rest, I started training again in Amsterdam, only to get the worst cold I ever had. Another week gone. Now 2 weeks of training before the nationals is hardly enough.

Like I told my team mates earlier today. I am here to enjoy playing. If I can get through the weekend completing that goal, I have to be satisfyed. With that I can build on it and hopefully keep up some good training and come back stronger next year.

There is really no money for me to play any tournaments anymore. With good help from Frank and Cigany in Amsterdam I have been able to train at least, and I am very appreciative of that help. If not it would have been no squash at all.

I put no pressure on myself this year, and that is a lovely feeling to have. Its so much worse to know you are the best player and "have" to win it. This time Im hiding behind 3 or 4 other quality players.

I am actually getting excited to getting started in a few hours. Seeing good friends, smacking some balls and doing what I love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

positives this year is that the glass court is gone. I hate that court.haha. Its too bad for the show, but for me personally I can stay clear of those dreadful results I have had on that court. Plus, my physical foundation is still good and I recover quite fast. I am struggling with match fitness, but there is not much residual stiffness after a match.


Update 1:

I am in the semi final!!!!! And very happy to be there. I knew it would be a tough run to get here, and the form is really not there. I was lucky to scrape through my matches, all 3-0. If I ever have a chance of the title this year it has to be like this. This morning my physique failed, in the afternoon my game failed. But absolutely stoked to get this far. Tomorrow I play Norwegian/Canadian Adrian Ostbye PSA 240 in a battle of the titans. Really looking forward to it :)

Update 2:

And a battle of the titans it proved to be. Poor jetlagged Adrian went to bed at 18.30 to prepare for the 10am match. I think he needed it. A very nervy start still proved to be close as I snuk the 2 first games 11-9, 12-10 being 2 game balls down in the second game. Amazed I was still able to compete, I felt relaxed and confident I could win it for once in the tournament. I did not feel as bad as the day before. It required a lot more concentration than usual to put the balls where I wanted them, but it worked.....this far. I think I remember correctly when I say I played well in the start of the third game. It was close all the way until around 7-7. I had a small drop in concentration and 3 bad calls against me, and all of a sudden the game was lost 7-11. In the fourth game, Mark told me the deciding factor was  my tactical choices. This makes sense, naturally, as I lack squash time. Im focussing so hard on hitting the ball in my targets that I am not aware of my opponents movement or court awareness. I though I fought well and played the right game in the 5th, but he found his targets better than me. As the legs were starting to fail, I let more balls go into the back corners. That messed the scoreboard up. And I messed my ankle up. Almost the exact same scenario as our 3-2 battle last year, when I won. Then he tweaked his ankle/achilles in the 5th. I believe we are now completely equal in points overall.

'

The bronze final became a tired affair between two old heroes of squash. Norwegian pakistani Shahab Hussein has been top 3 in Norway for many years and has already won this title before. After his 3-1 tussle with reigning champion Solhaug, it was a matter of will....and tins. I was 2-1 down and was able to sneak it 3-2 :)

The final become a tired affair as well, as Adrian had no gas left in the tank. The man had battled through 4 of the toughest players in Norway and spent almost double the court time of his opponent. He still proved to be a true professional and battled it out through the end. Kristian did the job, and played some great counter play to rack up some lovely points as well as squeezing Adrians tired legs around the court to secure his 2nd consecutive national title.

Congratulations to the winners Lotte Eriksen (legend)

and Kristian Solhaug

Moss squash club, Brian Phillips

Myhrens sportssenter

all sponsors

Norwegian squash federation and 

all volunteers 

Reflections of a mediocre squash player

Once closing in on the end of ones carreer I guess its normal to reflect over what you have achieved and experienced over this significant period in ones life.

I have been fortunate enough to get trained by legends of the sport like Geoff Hunt (need no introduction), Liz Irving (Australian hall of fame, world champion and coach of legend Nicol David) and Mark Hornby (Nick Matthews coach for many years)

I moved to the Netherlands where I got to train amongst great players like Nicol David, Cameron Pilley, Laurens Jan Anjema, Sebastiaan Weenink, Piedro Schweertman, Aisling Blake, Steve Finitsis, Line Hansen and Paul Coll to mention a few.

I fought my way up to the top in Norwegian squash, and went undefeated for 4 year, capping 4 individual national titles. With 6 national team titles it makes a total of 10 national championchips.

I represented Norway for 8 years, 6 of them as no1, junior and senior. As a team we got 2 European medals. One bronze and one silver (in 3d division). I ended 19 in the European championship 3 years in a  row, so I guess that is nothing but stable.

One of my biggest goals was to beat the best Swedish player (because they're Swedish). A far fetched goal was to beat the entire Swedish team, because they were always several levels above us. Still, in Prague for the European Club Championships I/We ticked those two boxes off. With a 3-1 win over the Swedish no1 and national champ Romain Tenant (PSA 60), it was the deciding match in our victory as we lost 2 matches 2-3 and won the last one 3-2.

I got to travel the world an play all over Australia, Asia, Europe and the USA. I've played countless European championships, 3 individual World Championships (Manchester, Doha and Rotterdam) and even played squash in Tromsø :P

I've played the greats like Peter Barker, Simon Parke, Daryl Selby, Derek Ryan and Simon Røsner (lost them all. Got 1 game in total. hohoho ;)

I have filled up my facebook friend list by 300%

Geoff Hunt knocked my teeth out in Qatar

I was almost killed by an aboriginal in Kalgoorlie Australia

Ive messed up my teeth, left ankle, right ring finger, right knee, right low back, right shoulder and left wrist because of this great sport

I regret nothing

Spoiled

In the end... you have to do it for yourself

After a year of diminished support and funding. A reality check. Adult life lurks in the shades. A blow in the gut as squash2020 was tossed and a personal blow to one testicle after the other.
Motivation sank to an all time low.
¨

My 2 biggest financial supporters were struggling financially. They were there in heart as always, but sponsoring got difficult.

There were pebbles in the cogwheels with the other sponsors as well and a big mess with contracts. The contents and the delivery of it. My contract was cut in 2 with my biggest provider of squash gear, costing me more money than before to maintain my kit.

I caught myself complaining to myself about others working less and getting more. I saw the direct consequence of the lack of funds and my motivation sank because of this.

I was thinking of how to manage travelling to training. Getting around to hit with better players. Developing my game. Affording coached sessions. Playing PSAs.

When being undefeated in Norway for 4 straight years, you are far from the talent anymore. It comes with the game. The pressure of always delivering. And the fact that the crowd will always cheer for the other guy. The under dog.

This sounds petty and it is.

I was getting spoiled. 

I had a great sponsorship deal, good funding from the federation and good friends and family in my back. When friends and family expected me to always win and sponsors and federation cut their sponsoring I found myself back at the start. Like a whiney little b***h I didnt feel like playing squash anymore. And to complete the circle I quit squash. I didnt play at all.

Being away felt good for a while. I could eat and drink what I wanted, needed less sleep, partied a lot. Had a lot of fun. Long story short. I found out that training and a healthy lifestyle is a part of my identity. Its who I am. An occational party is something I enjoy. But it cant get too much. In this phase I also saw what I enjoyed about squash. It was never about the winning (believe it or not). It was never about the money (obviously). I loved the fast paced game. I loved the competing. I loved improving and working towards a goal. I loved the travelling and seeing and experiencing squash events. I loved the physical element and the joy it brings. Squash is actually fun.

When I found the initial reason for me starting to play squash I saw how far I had drifted away from it. I was more busy with handling the pressure, complaining about other athletes or worrying about money and my ranking.

Seeing this I started fresh again. No one else to rely on. Play squash to have fun. Run your lungs out. Give it your all. Compete.

Theres no money to play squash every day so when you can, you have to enjoy it. I am actually lucky to be healthy and fit enough to play at all. Maybe I need to get my own gear, pay my own flights, but in the end, thats what normal people do isnt it?

Now I play squash when I want to. If I dont feel like it. I dont play. I am me and will never be an unfair player. Some want me to be more cynical on court. But its not me. When I get mad on court, I play like shit. I need to be happy. When I am happy, I play well.

In 1 month my nationals are coming up. This was always the worst tournament for me to play. But also the most important one. I still have a few demons to battle, but from now on I want to enjoy myself out there. Then the results will come.

I have to find within myself the reason for playing and competing. Its not in the amount of money, the number of cheerleaders behind my back or the trophys on the wall.

In the end... you have to do it for yourself..... and a little bit for the cheerleaders <3

Squash for food: Hafsfjord cup

14-16 November is the always prestigious HSK cup. A big norwegian cup for juniors and seniors. This tournament was the first time I beat the former no1 player in Norway, and climbed the throne myself. its also the club where I worked and played for 3 years to improve my game.

I was given a brutal draw, as I played last weekends finalist in the first match, then national team prospect Lars Klæning 2nd round, seeded to play Norway no3 Ronny Aasbø in the semi final, and Norway ranked 1 and current national champ Kristian Solhaug in the final.

I was keen as ever and waltzed over my first and second round opponent both in 3 games, trying my best to keep focus and not show weakness.

The surprise came in the semi final as former Norway no1 and national champ Hansi saw off a recently ill Ronny in 5 tough games. I remember having to push for 5 hard games against Hansi in my 2nd national title. Its never easy against a never-say-die opponent with the capacity of a duracell bunny on steroids.

Focus was good in 3 games, and dropped for 1 game.... ergo. 3-1 win after a well played and entertaining match.

In the final, after an impressing dispatch of Sindre in the semis, with great pressure play, was nemesis, Kristian AKA Kissa AKA Norways driest humour. The player I battled with for 5-6 years over the no1 spot in Norway. He had it when I took it, and after 4 consecutive years, he took it back.

I had my game plan ready since last year after I lost my title to him. And it went exactly as expected. I knew I had the skill and capacity to beat him. But I knew i could not show weakness, or let him in at any moment. My coach told me after the nationals that the moment I took my foot of the gas, he sniffed a weakness and took full advantage. That could not happen again. Feeling mentally a lot healthier this time, my game plan held up. But it was still a tough battle. He is a master in pulling the most out of his last 5%, and even though he can barely move, he still keeps retrieving and can apply pressure at any time. I kept my calm and kpet squeezing, squeezing, applying more and more pressure until he cracked. it took forever, but it worked.

now I have money to survive the month...I think. And get a haircut

Squash for food: Moss open 2014

Most of you don't believe me when I say I am broke. "But you travel a lot, do fun things and get sponsorship gear" Yes. The travels are making me broke. Plus, starting your own bussiness is NOT CHEAP. Lisences, insurances, taxes, cheaters taking your money, unexpected fines, programs and services you had no idea was necessary. I need courses to maintain my physio license that costs me 2000 euros all of a sudden. My student loan is around 50 000 euros. When I started working that had to come off.

I used to have 3 accounts. My norwegian account (just in case ) My norwegian insurance account, and my Dutch one. My insurance account was stopped after the last payment because I now work in a foreign country. So no insurance. And no money there. My norwegian account has been empty for a while. I checked it today. There was 300 NOK there. (Mum transferred 2000 so I could book my flight home for christmas, but I did not have money for food last month. So I borrowed it :/ Sorry mum)

The federation needed 300 for the licence to play the tournament.

In my Dutch account is 112 euros. My bike broke down, and transport 1 week is 60 euros. Bike fixing is 50. No more food.

So.

No joke.

Im broke.

And after talking to the tournament organizor, its now clear that I dont only have to win it to stay alive, but I might end up owing them money in the end. A new rule state that even in a PSA closed sattelite, you have to pay entry fee. So either I win. Or Im screwed

note to self: Ur an idiot

A good start when I had to pay 50 euros for the bus ticket to the squash centre. Upon my arrival awaits my gift package of a few rackets balls and a squash bag from my sponsor plus 300NOK in pocketmoney for bananas throughout the weekend from the tournament organizor. He also lets me wait to pay the entry fee until after the tournament ends to see if I can pay it back or not :/

My first match, starting with 5-0 down, ends with a 3-0 victory. Slowly getting used to the plate walls again. The next morning I face Marwan el Shorbagy.........s room mate Håkon Standal. Another Bristol player from Hadrian Stiffs crew. After being 25 min late due to roadblocks, I end up losing my first game 11-3, before I get warmed up and take a close 2nd game... and 2 consecutive not so close ones.                                            Semi final is the expected final against Sindre Roaldsøy from Stavanger. The 2nd highest PSA ranked Norwegian. After a brutal battle and a broken wrist at 12-12 in the 4th game, I pull away the victory in 4 games. playing slowly better every match.                                                                            The surprise on the other side of the draw is the top junior in Norway beating the first seed of the tournament 3-0. That left me the left-overs of a tired junior in the final. The fight was short and one sided. Not that I mind. That means I won in 3 and had enough money to get home and get my bike fixed.

After the following week, I fixed my bike, bought a ticket for the next tournament, got some food. now I have 12 euros left :/ Leaving for Stavanger next weekend, where once again... I have to win to survive.

Note to self: you're still an idiot